我姥姥有句名言电视就是疯子演,傻子看。那当然是教训我们沉迷卡通肥皂的小青年儿的。现在大了,有时候觉着看卡通还会动感情,大长今也料理出那么多箴言顿悟不是,想想毕竟剧集是要卖钱回本的,商业嘛。可好多抬头不见低头见的节目,就不那么自爱了⋯⋯咱不说春晚,春晚为首。
大了以后很少看电视,可世界杯期间不看也得听着点儿,赶上天气预报,一港台腔,细听认识,心说杨姐姐以前发音不这样啊。留神细听是因为这几句:
"观众朋友们,天气渐渐热了,很多男同胞喜欢不穿上衣,觉得这样凉快,其实是不对的,因为如果周围气温比体温还高的时候,不穿上衣是不会感觉凉快的⋯⋯建议穿上件T恤,这样文明又凉快。"
大意是这样,好玩么?我自个这乐半年了。杨姐姐您是天气预报员,还是德育处老师呢?且不说现在男女平等了,女生上街露个肚脐大腿后背曲线更可爱,男的露着,您看不顺眼就直说不顺眼,俺们穿上就是。可您非得说科学道理干嘛啊,我问问我妹,天暴热时,你们是穿吊带暖和呢,还是穿T恤暖和?
科普小常识:人呢,是会汗的,汗蒸发吸热就凉快。狗狗伸舌头道理一样。跟周围气温无关⋯⋯
当时乐就乐了,杨姐姐也难,而且半个月之后,在沈阳听见交通广播说现在逮着赤膊就怎么罚,是否学上海交规那种鼓励拍相片举报,已经开始全民大讨论了。我还说又一场政治风暴来了,吓得突突的⋯⋯玩笑了,当然跟风暴无关,问题我赤膊就是我脸皮厚的体现,你照也好,上天气预报也好,我战胜了痱子我愉快,我光着我有人体美,怎么了我。文明倒是不见得,要文明我们接着聊文明:
在希望出版社的《麦哲伦航海纪》中间有这么一节逸闻,不知是不是原作者茨威格写的哦。
1503年,佛罗伦萨的米开朗琪罗完成了《大卫》雕像的创作。全裸的大卫仿佛正是佛罗伦萨某种风气的直接展示。每当潮湿的佛罗伦萨出现难得的阳光灿烂的日子时,大街上随处可见半躺着的男人光裸着下身,在争相曝晒他们那被阴湿倍加折磨的私处。
巴尔干人还就是生猛,人折腾出伟大的文艺复兴。中国人早早穿上了,满城尽露大波波据不完全考证也纯属虚构了,就剩下这么点上古遗风光膀子,还弄得跟老鼠过街一样。
在《手机》里电视人费墨说"做人要厚道",感叹咱们娇憨的媒体,不敢成天跟达官贵人干怕成天挨砸,就只好重复这一天天的鸡毛蒜皮,没有鸡毛,赶鸭子上架拔毛,又要高台教化,又要愚民于无形,实在不容易。但我知道极少数媒体人肚里是有"弱智群体"这词儿的,其中除了广大观众,还包括嘉宾,包括看完他节目花工夫叫真的人们。
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(题头图是孟京辉新话剧的海报叫什么来着,爱他俩的自己搜搜。内容跟本文无关嘿嘿)
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