关公不是国家机密

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  有人在广场写大标语,江是傻瓜,他被带走了,罪名是诬蔑领导人。
  又有人写,李是傻瓜,也被带走了,罪名是泄露国家机密。

  老掉牙的笑话。今天说的“关公不是国家机密”来自《千里走单骑》一句台词。日本老头来中国拍关公戏,不巧那个名角坐了牢,百般曲折申请到进监狱拍摄的许可。所长说,让你们外国人进来,看了拍了,出去就乱说!日本老头说,我来只是拍关公千里走单骑那出戏。所长轻松了语气,好啊好啊,关公不算国家机密。

  关公就成了这部电影的代言人。影片品质尚佳,至少没有糊弄观众,至少在我眼里张艺谋是对得起关公的,可比某些人强多了。

 


电影“千里走单骑”中的云南傩戏
  ·社科院专家论证关羽并非英雄竟是好色之徒

  影视剧戏说好卖钱,网文无厘头为消遣,皆可一笑而过。可如果你是靠掉书袋混饭吃,这点水平上台面就大不应该,到底是记者还是这位研究员水平凹?这容易造成的效果是,关公还没被了解,就先被误解,上面的链接只是众多似是而非文字的代表,不知天高地厚的指摘们大约可以归出几种,我分别驳斥一下:

  ·关公武功其实不咋样??
  ·好色者难为英雄??
  ·关公的忠义很虚伪??
  ·一介武夫被过度崇拜??

  首先说武功,历史上有哪些将领是因武艺高强出名,我们可以列出名单战绩进行比较,看看斩敌将的事迹最多最靓集中在谁头上?在孙武提出“下兵伐城”六百年后的三国天下,武装冲突变成以野战为主,胜利经常要凭借天气地形和计谋达成。比起战国时代,三国初期的军人们更有骑士风度,他们严明纪律,关心士气,善待俘虏,重视敌方和自己的贵族血统,互相派遣间谍和卧底,讲究排兵布阵,即使在混战中也很少出现将军同士兵肉搏的情况。一刀斩落敌将首级的将领被视为神,因为双方的士兵即可就此放下屠刀,通过象征性冲锋和逃散结束战斗,避免牺牲。吕布名列武将之首,很大程度是由于他虎牢关缠斗三英代替了混战,长安刺杀董卓避免了局部动乱,辕门射戟又使一场大规模械斗消弥于无形。做为罗贯中和平奖第四名得主,关公位列吕布之后,虽有斩杀敌将无数,但其水淹七军的暴行,及失荆州引发的战争以火烧连营十几万将士伤亡了结,都是影响排名的因素。

  很多出名的武将死于敌手,关羽也不例外。当59岁的关公兵败麦城,被敌军包围,和40岁时的土山战役一样,他再次选择了束手就擒避免更多无辜者的牺牲,应做为武功高强的佐证。吕布也是被生擒后杀死,孙悟空更被活捉过多次,如果被生擒就叫武功低微,战死的怎么算?病死的更不怎么样吧?那最后只有赤壁武功最高了,江山不会死。

  有网文分析斩颜良文丑的侥幸,说关羽是凭了马速,我赞成。火云邪神说过天下武功唯快不破。

  提到女色。重女色就不算英雄,先让西方人笑掉大牙。冲冠一怒为海伦,喜欢敌人的老婆有什么可耻?放在东方,就更没人服气了,引出本文的重要事迹“千里走单骑”说明关羽深知公司的女人不能碰,从而坚决没有碰。你放过这么重要的证据不推翻,单讲他下邳城跟曹操争一个女战俘,时光久远,关羽的初衷不得考,但他并没有小肚鸡肠地与曹操作对到底,是史实。

  心理学硕士netbug曾经说,身处安全隐秘的环境中,是男人都容易出轨。而今关羽如此理性典范竟被冠以莫须有的好色罪名,实在令人发指。连“近女色”和“好女色”都分不清,关公有老婆,生子关平,而非罗笔下的义子,读三国志就能知道的事,研究个屁?

 


电影“AV”中,日本客户来参观问:“这是什么像?”香港小生答:“这是我们电影节最佳动作片的奖杯!”
  身在曹营心在汉,是不义?兵败投降保全,是不忠?放在那个时代看看,五虎上将只有张飞从一而终,打开始就跟定皇叔,但出身的复杂没有影响他们中任何一位慷慨捐躯。今天很多年轻人不能把职业生涯放在一个大系统里规划,频繁跳槽不可怕,但因此失去信任和人脉,悔之晚矣。土山约三事这段演义,明确指出关羽并非两面三刀见风使舵,而是一贯地磊落光明,堂堂正正地投降,堂堂正正地出走。宁信其有,对年轻人树立正确人生观价值观是有用的。你非要摧毁榜样,文革也不能再来一次罢。

  男人就是为秩序而生。打破一种秩序,建立一种秩序,推行一种秩序,信奉一种秩序,遵守一种秩序,维护一种秩序,一辈子就过去了。而关公所服务的忠义秩序,并非慷慨就义的愚忠,而是在理性思考下的效益最大化规划,没有逾越任何原则。说他“黑白两道都吃香”没错,而这样的人是否值得崇拜?理由很复杂,我们看最后一点。

 


电影“江湖告急”中黄秋生扮演关帝显灵,黄后来说:“当时我正在出麻疹,脸又红又肿,红到正好适合关公的脸色,所以都不用化妆了。”
  最后一点也最可笑:某研究员的成果通篇在推翻三国演义,他不如去推翻西游记,成果还多些。问题在于,关羽身为一介武夫被过度崇拜,并非自演义始。自宋徽宗封他为忠惠公武安王,死去千年的关羽又被发掘和重视,宋人肯定不是崇兵尚武,而更多有赖关公神的一面做为寄托。连带后来历朝历代,加封关公到神中的king进而lord,兴关帝庙,香火旺盛成为忠义的化身,据杨萌深先生《细说万物由来》考究,与道教关系重大。

  “……观此所述,则关羽因曾听天师之诏,受戒护法,故道家特加推崇若是,是诚关羽有灵,将痛哭于九泉下罢!但因此而得庙食遍南北,是亦全赖道家之功了。”

  关羽竟是天师弟子,后人的附会诚然可疑,杨先生也没把它当多么了不起的发现,淡淡一笔点过。假如先生有灵听说时人跟报纸上较真三国演义,会做何感想。想起台湾来访时,讲话引用易经,我们的报道竟然句句抄错。国学继承啊,可别到孙孙那辈还得跟日本人打听,关公是谁?

  吐完我开始庆幸,关公岂那么容易被打倒。我们有这一千年的神秘附会,我们有三国志和演义,我们有今天的大话动画水煮口袋书,关公才成为今天的关公。他从历史杀来,青巾长髯面如重枣,倒拖巨大的铁片跃马奔腾在敌阵,口中念念有词如入无人之境,我要的就是那效果,这位唤醒正义的先知,我们东方的帕拉丁[2]


注:[1]题头图为电影“攻壳机动队2:无罪”中守护千岛群岛企业建筑群的巨大关公像。
  [2]帕拉丁Paladin,圣骑士,跟随查理大帝征战四方的十二名武士。


- 大胖 06.2.19

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